I never understood celebrating

after funerals; I take death badly.
I've been criticized for isolating
after loved ones pass, for mourning sadly:
I guess what depresses is the total
lack of control over bringing them back,
though in many ways, for good and for ill,
they never fully leave you or their track:
And I now see how this is a freedom,
a commission to act in accordance
with the mortal contract to be someone,
if only by living to see Death's dance:
I dreamt I couldn't lock my old room's door;
I must embrace what this life has in store.
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