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I am scared because I’ve nothing to lose

in not succeeding for the time being;
I am scared because I am not selfish
enough to want success for my own self:
This is a huge flaw because I owe it
to so many people to use my gifts,
to find success, to prove and to show it,
that my people don’t need external gifts:
I guess what this means is that I’m selfish
for being unselfish, wanting to connect
with someone or something in the deepest way,
so that there’s something I could truly lose:
Maybe having lost something will be enough;
if I let myself fail, will that bring good luck?
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