251

Crimson and furry colored petals 

were glimpsing out above the crystal vase.
I was never happier, as when a man settles
on his fate, and has given up the chase:
I spun around with wet hands and deposited
the vase down on the ready table
and lit a candle behind to make it glow,
positive that all my dreams were in tow:
What seemed well-received was relieved, though, to
deceive and mislead a leader of men
for purposes as fuzzy as a hazy wave, 
for questions not even God knows the answer:
I'm limping away unworried though chastened
in my blind reform for men. Amazing.
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250

Like a monument to the common past

that will one day crumble and dissipate,
I celebrate the Word that will stand last
to establish a New World Syndicate:
Now, I do not speak of conspiracies,
only of truth, honor, love and noblesse;
its symbols are white flowers and blue seas,
golden auras and purple dresses, yes!
We are peaceful but will evoke madness 
if those in power refuse to desist;
they have caused us unmerited sadness,
wringing their cheapened fruits from our right fists:
But the left hand holds on to a flower –
by thorn or fragrance, it airs out power.
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249

Wrap me up in my own language! Wrap me,

and watch me come home to a thousand lights.
Through a thousand deaths, I saw the sap tree
leaking, ready for the taking of our rights:
I don't pilfer cultures, I aim to build
from the ground and my mind a truth unvoiced,
so that for every slur that might be spilled
there is a bigot heart that might be killed
except for the noble air that we hoist
above the heavens, below the distance
between wrong and rhythm; time is instant
and constant and extant and protestant:
I dislike minorities who "sell out;"
the "applause" does clap their golden bell out.
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248

The water roars over the swimmer's ears

like electric aircraft, like cars on streets
that pass by open windows, bypass fears
and arrive at home as Time repeats:
The waves are a maze, an endless ripple,
a faceless dream that replaces hard truths
on the nature of love which must cripple
the forward strides of magic, of our youths:
I mean, the nature of life, of which youths
in plural make up the shortest segment
but the sweetest one – my sweet saying sooths
the inner child after his leg bent:
A singular youth, though, can never die,
since renewed waters replenish the sky. 
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247

I never understood celebrating

after funerals; I take death badly.
I've been criticized for isolating
after loved ones pass, for mourning sadly:
I guess what depresses is the total
lack of control over bringing them back,
though in many ways, for good and for ill,
they never fully leave you or their track:
And I now see how this is a freedom,
a commission to act in accordance
with the mortal contract to be someone,
if only by living to see Death's dance:
I dreamt I couldn't lock my old room's door;
I must embrace what this life has in store.
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246

The flowers poke through despite the climate

of watery coldness mixed with humid
air that makes a body want to time it,
that is, the time it takes to turn tumid:
A sadness lingers over siren sounds,
as emotions swell with water and fear;
a new era is upon us, surrounds
us with new grounding as spring hovers near:
There were deaths and rebirths, there were failures
and successes, but loss has held its own
amidst the accumulating measures
taken to keep one's power as one's own:
But there is no control. We all are lost.
We'll be happy again, but at what cost?
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245

I'm like the dog in Duck Hunt: impish smile,

brown skin, white teeth, and you just can't shoot me!
No matter how close you put the gun, I'll
just keep laughing until you reboot me:
That is, the dog becomes the game, is it;
the beagle's bugle is our instrument; 
the terrier's terroir wants to visit
itself upon us to shape our moment:
Hand-eye coordination skipping the eyes
becomes hand-to-hand combat, or hand-to-
mind tactfulness; healing hands realize
that this "real" life is too much to handle:
So we open up worlds by closing wounds;
like plastic guns, my words must make no sounds.
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244

I just learned a brand-new language called thought

in which words stay stuck in the head until
you know that no one is around to rot
your word's meanings with their issues, mental:
The definition of language is like 
a vase of flowers, or some fresh coffee:
the aura, the fragrance must always strike
the nose before one can approve of me:
I am lost without language, but without
it I must go, until I kill my old thoughts,
uproot them like weeds, replace them (no doubt)
with fresher flowers, placed in colored pots:
In the meanwhile, I'll throw rocks at the sea;
they will skip the words between you and me.
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243

Though I am a sinner and a liar

and am evil all across and over,
I'll play decent if the highest buyer
stuffs my closet with a four-leaf clover:
I shoot down sparrows with my black eyelids,
I eat hawks with my saucer-eyed cunning,
and I'll dance with those who were once shy kids
turned magnates hooked into number-one-ing:
But don't you dare flash a real smile at me;
I am ill-equipped to understand it:
the joy, the pain that you confide in me,
the loss of control though I demand it:
So I'll just go shove you in the closet;
your corpse is fresh, so I'll have to lock it.
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242

With eyes that always see, the true winner
emerges unblind, unbounded by loss
because the truth is thicker and thinner
(simultaneously) than the lies we toss:
Most fundamentally, there are two truths –
the inner and outer, which ensure us
of some kind of beauty, despite misuse,
like the arsonist's flames that assure us:
They assure that there was something to burn,
an itch to scratch, a dream to wake up from;
but – what do you know! -you burned down my shack,
and (dead or alive ) I shine still like the sun!
A dream is torched, but memories persist;
your beauty's inside your external abyss.

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